“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all of your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations; your consciousness expands in every direction; and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
There comes a moment when the life you’ve been handed no longer fits. When the rules you were given start to suffocate… The question is no longer ‘Who should I be?’ but ‘Who am I—really?’ That moment marked the beginning of my self-discovery journey. One where I would finally break free from expectations by choosing myself and honouring my true self.
I remember the first time I asked myself, ‘Who am I?’ Silence. Because the truth was, I had never been permitted to become.
I had been assigned roles. Defined by expectation. By what was proper and what would make others comfortable. By what would keep me safe. But the soul doesn’t come here to be safe. It comes to expand.
For years, I wore the labels handed to me: good daughter, devout believer, respectful young woman. I played my part in a world where my worth was measured by how well I conformed. But inside? Inside, I was on fire. A quiet, rebellious ember refusing to be extinguished.
Until one day, I made a choice. A choice to walk away from the script I had been given and write my own. By taking this step, I was honouring my true self by choosing myself.
The cage of expectation
I grew up in a world where everything was predetermined: how to behave, what to believe, who to become. My identity was a carefully crafted set of rules, a script I was meant to follow without question. And for a while, I did. I performed my part perfectly, fearing that if I didn’t, I would bring shame. Shame to my family, my faith and to the people who had spent years moulding me into something palatable.
But there was a problem. I wasn’t lost. I had been erased.
I could feel it—something inside me was breaking. A caged bird that could no longer pretend the sky wasn’t meant for her.
So, at 21, I left. Not just a home, but an identity. A life that had never really been mine. I chose me.
The fire of rebirth
The city was nothing like the world I knew. It was sharp and relentless, unbothered by my uncertainty. And yet, for the first time, I was free. Personal transformation doesn’t happen in comfort, it happens in the fire of the unknown.
I had to trust that fire before I even knew where it would lead. Having no one telling me how to live, what to think or who to be was terrifying yet exhilarating at the same time. But freedom comes with responsibility. The world does not hand you a roadmap for becoming yourself.
I made mistakes, stumbled, faced loneliness that seeped into my bones. Then, on the brink of giving up, it happened. My first job offer. A single ‘yes’ in a sea of uncertainty. A door cracked open, and I stepped through.
And that’s when I began to fill in the blank slate of ‘Who am I?’ It’s been 32 years since I left home and never once did I question my decision.
The birth of courage
Stepping into the unknown wasn’t bravery. It was survival. Survival is what taught me that I am stronger than I ever imagined. I was in the process of becoming my true self—not by following someone else’s roadmap, but by trusting my inner fire to guide me.
I discovered that my strength wasn’t in never feeling fear, it was in moving forward anyway. That my power wasn’t in blending in but in daring to stand apart. The fire inside me had never been a problem. It had been the answer.
I found courage in speaking up. In trusting myself and in deciding that I, and only I, get to define my worth.
And with that courage came something even greater—self-trust. A powerful outcome of choosing myself and honouring my true self.
The sacred lessons
This journey of self-discovery has been anything but linear. But through it, I’ve learned:
- Personal responsibility is freedom. The moment I stopped waiting for permission to live as myself, I became unstoppable.
- True belonging starts within. The more I honoured who I am, the more I attracted people who saw and valued me for exactly that.
- Healing is a process, not a destination. Every layer of self I uncover brings new lessons, deeper expansion and more compassion for myself and others. Finding my identity meant unlearning as much as it meant discovering. This remains a continuous act of courage.
- Forgiveness and letting go are liberating. Not for those who hurt me, but for me. Because holding onto pain serves as emotional handcuffs in a mental prison, and I refuse to be trapped again.
So maybe the question isn’t ‘Who am I?’ but ‘Am I brave enough to live as her?’ Because at its core, choosing myself and honouring my true self wasn’t about having all the answers; it was about taking the first step, trusting that I would find my way.
Takeaway
I share my journey because I know I’m not alone. I know what it feels like to wrestle with expectations that don’t fit. To crave something more, even when you don’t know what ‘more’ looks like yet.
So I ask you: what is keeping you from stepping fully into yourself?
What story are you still telling that no longer serves you? And most importantly… are you ready to claim the life that is already yours?
Below is a guide that will help you identify what no longer serves and what needs to be released so you can reclaim your life.
The world doesn’t need you to fit in. It needs you to burn bright.
Until next time,
Need some help on your own journey?
The first step to choosing yourself is gaining clarity on where you stand. Are you living by your own truth or by expectations that no longer serve you?
Download Take control of your life—a simple guide with 10 powerful questions to help you reflect, reset and reclaim your path.
Because your journey starts with the right questions.
