Redefining power, reclaiming wholeness and creating a new narrative beyond the patriarchal playbook
Thinking like a real woman or kicking like a girl are often phrases used to belittle or disempower someone. Regularly on social media, corporate corridors, and coffee shop conversations, I hear women naming the injustice. “It’s not fair,” I work twice as hard to get half the recognition.” or “ he… objectified me/them or dismissed my ideas”. Yes, the system is skewed.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: the system isn’t just out there. It’s also in us. Let’s be honest. How many times have you caught yourself shrinking, second-guessing and making yourself more palatable without even noticing?
The voice that says, “Don’t be too much. Don’t make them uncomfortable. Play it safe.” We’ve inherited a narrative that shapes how we see ourselves and what we believe we’re worth. This narrative is so deeply embedded that we are unaware of how our thoughts and beliefs are scripted.
The real revolution starts right here in our minds, bodies and hearts. Because real power isn’t out there—it’s what we reclaim when we stop shrinking and start coming home to ourselves.
This isn’t about blaming ourselves or bashing men, but about seeing where the programming lives, so we can consciously dismantle it. Because until we think like a “whole human”, we’ll keep fighting for a seat at “the boys’ table”, in their way, by their rules. And we lose ourselves in the process.
Often I hear how proud women are for breaking through the glass ceilings, but usually they do it by the masculine playbook. What’s the point if the same rules and paradigm still exist?
Before we go further, let’s ask the question: Why does this matter, and why not just keep playing along, breaking glass ceilings one at a time?
"Thinking like a man" no longer serves us as women...and never has
We lash out against men who treat us poorly or contrary to how we believe we should be treated. What we fail to realise is that the men are also just acting out their conditioning, taught by the same system that programmes women.
This is not about bashing men personally, it’s about challenging the patriarchal system (within and without) that elevates some and subjugates others. It’s about creating a new narrative for society as a whole and creating a different frame of reference based on truth and equality.
Our inherited narrative is deeply embedded: men are logical, powerful providers. Women are emotional, nurturing supporters. That story is outdated, limiting and dangerous. Here’s why challenging it matters now, more than ever:
1. Collective evolution demands it: We cannot birth new worlds with old paradigms. The imbalance is showing—burnout, anxiety, fractured relationships, broken systems. We need whole, integrated humans leading us forward.
2. We’re raising the next generation: The way we model power to our children in terms of how we show up, lead and love, writes their internal script. What story do you want your daughter or son to live?
When I think back to the modelling I received, it was that women and girl children must “know their place”. This meant being silent, not challenging male authority, listening and honouring the males who were exalted above females. Naturally, this embedded the code for submission, fear and playing small.
How this showed up earlier on in my work life: play small and keep the patriarchal authority structures happy even if I didn’t agree. The cost of compliance isn’t just exhaustion—it’s “soul death”. Every time you silence your knowing to keep the peace, a part of you withers. Each time you hustle to earn approval, you bleed out the very power you’re chasing.
The impact of patriarchal conditioning on feminine leadership
Yes, the media, religion and social structures condition us. But let’s get radical: what if the real work isn’t only to expose the system but to rewire the way we think, act and see ourselves as men and women?
Because every time you rage against “him,” you’re really raging against the part of yourself still hooked on his validation. That’s the real prison.
But pause with me here… what’s the real price of playing along?
What part of you are you sacrificing every time you stay silent, hoping you’ll be accepted?
Prompt: What would it feel like to stop performing “strong” and just… be?
Can you even remember the last time you felt that free?
Reclaiming your feminine wisdom: what it really means to think like a real woman
To break free, we need to understand the energies we’ve been taught to overuse or deny beyond gender, beyond labels. In every human lives a masculine (yang) and feminine (yin) energy. It’s not gendered, but it’s energetic. When balanced, they create flow, and when imbalanced, we struggle.
Depending on the tradition you view this concept from–Taoist, Hindu or Shamanism, for example–you will find different properties of the masculine and feminine energies. For this post, I focus on the resonant features from different philosophies.
Yin (Feminine) – The fundamental energy underlying and sustaining life (life force)
- Creation / Creativity
- Intuitive/Feeling
- Nurturing
- Magnetic (attracts)
- Destructive (to make way for the new)
- Rhythmic/Cyclical and flowing
- Multi-focus
- Seeks and sees beauty
Yang (Masculine) – Power of action and structure
- Single, laser focus
- Action-oriented
- Utilitarian
- Giver
- Electric (goes and gets what it wants)
- Purpose-driven
- Linear and assertive
- Mental and thoughts
This brief typology isn’t about opposition but the dynamic interplay of yin and yang—two forces that complement each other in a delicate yet powerful balance. Understanding the power of both allows you to harness them in a way that feels natural to you. In practice, feminine energy conceptualises, creates and clears away the old to make space for the new, while masculine energy strategises and brings these creations to life.
Why feminine leadership is the future of authentic success
We see it every day—power suits, aggressive tactics, cutting off emotions in boardrooms and businesses, dog-eat-dog behaviour between women in the boardroom. It’s the survival instinct we were taught: “If you want to win, act like a man.”
But here’s the catch: that’s not power. That’s mimicry. Mimicry of a defunct system.
Why would you do that and still lash out against the darkness of patriarchal systems and narratives at the same time? The “if you can’t beat ‘em then join ’em” adage definitely doesn’t work here and shouldn’t even be applied.
Reflection: Women: How have you downplayed your feminine gifts to be ‘taken seriously’ in your world?
Men: Do you expect women to downplay their feminine gifts to be ‘taken seriously’ in your world? What would you say to a woman who is doing this to stay or get ahead?
So, how do we start rewriting the story? It begins by seeing where we lost ourselves and choosing to come back.
A personal reflection: Journey back to myself
I was a “tomboy” as a child: loved riding my bike and playing with my brother’s racing sets. Not typical toys for a girl child. The dolls I got as a child were merely additions to my hospital patients and specimens to practice my surgical skills on 😄😄 (As a young child, my ambition was to become a doctor and this is how I lived out that dream. More in another post.)
This didn’t mean I was less caring or nurturing; it was quite the opposite. The narrative that was embedded when I was young: Be strong. Push hard. Never let them see you soft or you’ll be a walk-over and someone easily taken advantage of.
Later in my self-discovery journey, I learned that my energy is naturally more yang–more action and execution driven. However, this natural disposition became toxic, and the resulting script that drove me was to achieve, perform and prove. I saw the damage, disconnection and exhaustion. The longer I stayed in this toxic identity, the more I betrayed myself.
My real power unfolded when I reclaimed my fire and flow. Now, I lead differently and in alignment with my unique blend of yin-yang energy. I create from flow, act from alignment, destroy what no longer serves and trust my inner knowing. That is real power. When the balance between yin and yang is calibrated and flows naturally, the personal power is real.
So, what does it mean to think like a real woman?
Embodying feminine strength and courage in a world that teaches otherwise
Thinking like a real woman and leading like a whole human means embodying a new paradigm; one that honours both the feminine and masculine in their rightful and unique balance.
When you change the playbook, you’ll learn that a power suit or power haircut does not give you power. So by sticking to the patriarchal playbook to get ahead in corporate, you perpetuate existing stereotypes, downplay the power of the feminine energy and in turn diminish your own power that you are trying so hard to assert.
It’s not so much about rewriting the script–it’s about tossing out the script and allowing each individual to bring their unique gifts and energy. When this shift takes place and you start thinking like a real woman, you:
✅ Stop seeking validation from masculine systems.
✅ Own your rhythms of creation, resting, destroying and renewal.
✅ Lead from emotional intelligence and wisdom.
✅ Stop performing “strong” and start embodying true strength.
✅ Become magnetic by resonance and not force.
Leading from wholeness: the rise of authentic feminine leadership
We have to learn how to balance the delicate balance of masculine and feminine energies in each of us and how this interplays within our unique blueprint. These energies are complementary and one cannot be without the other without disrupting the balance.
How to work with your energy: Prompts for reflection
1. In Business:
- Prompt: Where have you been forcing outcomes, mistaking control for power? What might open if you chose flow instead of force?
- Create the vision (yin)
- Strategise the plan (yang)
- Trust the unfolding (yin)
- Take aligned action (yang)
2. In Relationships:
- Prompt: Where do you still give more than you have, hoping it makes you worthy of love? What if you let yourself receive, fully?
- Practice receiving (yin).
- Communicate your needs without shrinking or demanding (yin).
3. In Self-Leadership:
- Prompt: Where have you ignored your emotional intelligence for ‘logic’ in making decisions?
- Trust your body’s wisdom (yin).
- Honour your intuition as data (yin).
The true cost of staying in the old patriarchal narrative
How do we redefine the narrative and what should that narrative be?
Feminine power is not a replica of masculine power and therefore true equality isn’t about becoming the same. It’s about honouring difference, valuing the unique power of both masculine and feminine energies and rewiring ourselves regarding what it means to lead, create and thrive.
Acknowledgement and connecting to these energies are vital to create and maintain balance. I share more in this post. If we continue playing this game by patriarchal rules the costs are:
- Burnout
- Loss of identity
- Fractured sisterhood (because there’s no room for competition when we’re ALL powerful)
- Perpetuating the system we claim to fight
The world doesn’t need more women acting like men. It needs women—and men—leading like whole humans. Rooted in truth. Guided by wisdom. Deeply connected to themselves and each other.
Final reflections: Rewriting the narrative
You’re not here to win the game. You’re here to build a new one. Because let’s be clear—no amount of masculine mimicry will buy you freedom. It’s time to stop trading your soul for a seat at the table that was never built for you.
When we reclaim that power, we change the game and so change the world.
Reflection: What does it mean to YOU to think like a real woman and lead like a whole human? Write it down. Name it. Live it.
The future is written by the ones brave enough to lead differently. Your value comes from who you truly are, not from who you’ve been programmed to be.
Keep shining!
